So I'm in the process of attempting to fundraise so I can go to Ghana next month with XLP. I'm really not good at trusting God's provision, it seems. I've been taught time and time again that God provides, not so that we continue to struggle, but abundantly, that God exceedes all our expectations. And there's that passage in Matthew that tells us not to worry about a thing because God feeds and clothes the plants and the birds, and how much more valuable are we.
Yet I always seem to be struggling with money. I'm in a position where I'm so close to maxing out my overdraft that I can barely afford to live, to buy food for packed lunch, or shampoo when I run out or anything for that matter. And dont get me wrong- God has provided £2000 so far for me to be on this gap year. and £100 for my Ghana trip. But in terms of providing for me to live....it really dont feel like its abundance at all. I feel so fed up of struggling and worrying and knowing I never have enough. Aha, what a sinner for doubting my God. And I'm pretty sure I'ma look like a fool when God proves me wrong at some point. But my expeiriences so far shows a gap between God providing abundantly for everyone else, and just about sufficiently for me.
Sounds like I need to spend time with Papa to get this sorted.
Despite my lack of faith today,
God is good!